One day you’re standing in the middle of the room & you don’t know where you’re going

by Hazel Pino

SPiNNiNG: Complicated by Nivea ♥

 

Sometimes it feels like life can spin completely out of control. Sometimes I look at my life and see stacks and stacks of experience of failure. Of things that could had been. And lately, I’ve been trying to push away the negativity, the self-doubt… but some days it’s harder than others.

Since the beginning of the year I haven’t had much thought as to what I wanted to do from here. I don’t have a big passionate goal I want to work towards. I have a few potential ones, but nothing as passionate as my last one.

I literally don’t know what I’m working towards anymore.

I’m a bit (I say a bit because I’m trying to block most negativity from my life for as long as I can manage everyday, which is pretty much until right before I go to sleep) unhappy with the way things are going right now. It’s impossible to find a job within 5 cities of where I live, school is getting more and more complicated and it’s starting to really wear me down, and there’s so much clutter in my life (and in my room) and I don’t know what to do with it. How to sort it or what to get rid of.

I always manage to pick myself up and figure things out, but I’m always scared of the day I don’t come up with a solution. And I’m so tired of failing myself.

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