And I can’t grasp it…

by Hazel Pino

Friendship betrayal is just a part of life, isn’t it?

Shouldn’t it be? I always firmly believed that people come into your life for a purpose and once that purpose is filled, they leave because the lesson they were sent to taught has been learned (who dictates this is beyond me). But what happens when someone you were best of best friends with betrays you? What lesson is to be learned there? To never let my walls down? To never trust someone? To be more guarded? I don’t know, I honestly can’t figure it out.

But at the same time… why should I feel betrayed? She’s free to befriend anyone she wants, isn’t she? He’s free to befriend anyone he wants, even if it’s her. I don’t play that you-can’t-be-her-friend-since-I-don’t-like-her game so I can’t expect him to drop her even if he asked me if I wanted him to. We’re all adults and we’re all free to make our own decisions. So why do I constantly fight this battle with myself over if I trust him or not just because he “likes” her status? It’s silly, really. Isn’t it?

As for her, I can’t grasp why every year she feels the need to do something insanely messed up then comes to me saying “I’m sorry”. You can only say I’m sorry so many times before I just don’t believe a word you say and you’re pretty much there. I don’t need this in my life. I don’t need to put up with this. I don’t need this poison.

I just wish I didn’t spend so much time thinking about it. I wish I could shut off all my emotions towards it. It’s fruitless anyway. Nothing but a waste of time and energy.