Some do, some don’t

by Hazel Pino

Once upon a time I was on a forum and I sent out emails to people in my area (keep in mind this was way before advance technology and you were able to safely assume that these people were legit). Two of those boys still talk to me; one is still a pretty close friend (also, can I note, this was 11 years ago) who is secretly but also not-so-secretly in love with me and the other was my best of best friend for a very long time and… an ex. But I’m fairly certain the breakup brought us closer, as if that was ever even possible.

Now the difference between the two?

The not-so-secretly in love with me friend still talks to me on a daily basis, things are still the same as they’ve always been between us but the ex? We had a bit of a falling out a few years back, just out of the blue.

I don’t know about you, but when a friend just drops me without warning, it kinda makes me wonder. Over the years I’ve asked what was it that changed. Over the years he’s told me many different reasons; “we’re growing up”, “distance”, “nothing”. A few mutual friends say it’s his girlfriend, she’s a bit of a jealous type and I guess I can pin it to that. But there’s something about him that’s changed. Recently, as in, within the last week or two I’ve been IMing him on AIM, trying to make small talk. But every time he sort of blows me off, doesn’t seem interested in conversation with me. And it just sucks. But friendship shouldn’t take this much effort. Just to make conversation?

And it got me thinking, isn’t it funny how you can meet two people in the exact same way, be close friends with them for years but the outcome can be different? I guess that’s just life, unpredictable.  And I hate myself sometimes for wondering why one is still around and not the other. Especially on the days when I’m so down and out that only the other can bring me back up. But at the same time, it’s been about 7 years since we’ve ever really been friends and I still feel like I need him in my life? That doesn’t sound right at all, does it? It just sucks that sometimes some people have a certain hold on you and no matter what you do, you can’t shake it off.

The most you can do is just wait it out and hope it fades. Soon.